Love Is Not Self-Seeking

Scripture:

"Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking..." – 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)

When Love Looks Beyond Itself

I remember a time when I had an opportunity to do something kind for someone, but I hesitated. Not because I didn’t want to help, but because I knew it wouldn’t be convenient for me. I had my plans, my schedule, and my priorities, and stopping to meet someone else’s need felt like an interruption. But as I wrestled with the decision, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper, True love isn’t about what’s easy for you—it’s about being a reflection of Me.

That moment exposed something in my heart: I was willing to love when it was comfortable, but hesitant when it required sacrifice.

What Does It Mean That Love is Not Self-Seeking?

Self-seeking love says, What’s in it for me? It prioritizes personal gain, convenience, and comfort over the well-being of others. But the kind of love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13 is different—it’s selfless. It puts others first, not out of obligation, but out of a heart that truly desires their good.

The world teaches us to look out for ourselves, to make sure our needs are met first, and to only give when it’s beneficial. But real love, God’s love, seeks the good of others even when there’s nothing in it for us.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example of Selfless Love

Jesus is the greatest example of love that is not self-seeking. He didn’t come to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28). He gave His life, not for His own benefit, but so that we could have eternal life. Every miracle He performed, every word He spoke, and every sacrifice He made was done out of pure, selfless love.

If Jesus, who had every right to demand honor, chose humility and service, how much more should we strive to love selflessly?

The Danger of Self-Seeking Love

Self-seeking love is subtle. It can creep in through:

• Expecting something in return – Helping or giving with the hope of getting recognition or favor.

• Loving only when it’s convenient – Prioritizing our comfort over another person’s needs.

• Keeping score – Measuring how much we give versus how much we receive.

But true love gives without conditions. It serves without seeking a reward. It sacrifices without expecting something in return.

How to Love Selflessly

1. Put Others First: Look for ways to serve, even when it’s inconvenient.

2. Give Without Expecting: Love because it’s who you are, not because of what you might get in return.

3. Follow Jesus’ Example: Love sacrificially, trusting that God sees and rewards what is done in secret (Matthew 6:3-4).

Reflection Question:

Do I love with conditions? How can I shift my heart toward selfless love?

Prayer: Lord, help me to love the way You love—without selfish motives, without keeping score, and without seeking my own gain. Teach me to serve with humility, to give without hesitation, and to reflect Your heart in all I do. Let my love be pure, selfless, and honoring to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Love isn’t about what we can gain—it’s about what we can give. Today, let’s choose selfless love!